So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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