I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Also, beer. Big fan.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
