oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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