I'm really into asian looking animals
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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