Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
