i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
