dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
