it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
