That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
