also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
