Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
