dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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