I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
