Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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