you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize