All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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