WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
