I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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