Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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