Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
