It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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