saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
God I need to hump something, right now.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
