if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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