Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
