Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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