All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
