i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
