Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
