she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
