So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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