My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
