You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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