Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
