Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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