you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
