i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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