.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
