You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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