dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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