Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
