STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
