All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
