At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
