Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize