Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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