So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
nutella sex= disaster
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
