Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
