I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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