Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
