Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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