I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
