THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
