i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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