I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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