I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
