Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
