apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
