Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
