I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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