We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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