I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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