It's Friday. Sex?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
