Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
