i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
