the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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